Sunday, 29 March 2015

Sunday Snippet

Over the last few days, I've been working two things: Taxes and my latest short story submission. Taxes took up some time that I wanted to use for writing, but it's also one of those things you just can't avoid. My short story for TulipTree has been going pretty well, though I'm nervous about sending it in.

The concept is a little strange: As humanity begins to kill itself off through wars, overpopulation, and excessive crime rates, the governments from every country come together and establish new laws that allow legal job hunting, meaning your possible employers will allow you to literally kill the competition for your job. My main character is Carson, a desperate man who remains jobless because can't bring himself to kill another human so callously. But after his family is threatened, he may be forced to give up his morals in a last fight for survival...



Slate moved first, rushing me with a fist extended back. I scrambled back, raising my hands, and seeing the he was faking out. Navy was swinging around to grab me. I ducked my head and twisted, Slate’s fist fly over my head while I slammed an uppercut into Navy’s jaw.
Both men didn’t expect me to be so quick, but getting the first punches in didn’t mean I was in the lead. I had to end this as fast as possible.
            Still tucked under his chest, I jabbed my elbow back and caught Slate in the stomach. Navy pushed forward, making me lurch back. 
 


The major challenge for me with this one isn't so much the concept, but the requirement of realism. I love apocalyptic stories, but more so when they involve some kind of monster or supernatural element. Regardless, I'm hoping my gamble will pay off. If not, I learned from the experience and did what I really wanted to do: Write words.

Be sure to check out the blog this week for exciting news on Path of the Horseman, a full length novel more suited to my kind of apocalypse, which is now just two days away from release! I'll be getting butterflies for sure. Remember to check out the other talented authors on WeWriWa and leave them some love! Thanks for stopping by!

Amy

8 comments:

  1. Nice excerpt, Amy, action packed!

    If I may offer one suggestion: I tend to find my action sequences read better when I remove all semblance of passive voice. Short, clipped descriptions work better with immediate verbs ("raised my hands" instead of "raising my hands", etc.). This is already tight and very well done, but killing the passive verbs could only make it better.

    Just my half cent. =D

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    1. Thank you very much for your input. I have trouble telling when I'm using passive voices, so this means a lot to me. I'm just about finished the story's draft, so I'll remember that when it comes to edits. Thanks again!

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  2. Nice fight choreography. Is hard to get the flow of hand-to-hand combat down.

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  3. Yeah, fight scenes are pretty hard to describe, so well done. I *am* intrigued by the plot of the novel. You should definitely keep going!

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    1. Thank you, and I might do a few changes, but it will mostly stay the same. ;)

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  4. Interesting premise indeed! Enjoyed the excerpt, quite descriptive....

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